My Secret Admirer
by quail58
Summary: Rin has a secret admirer.
1. 1st Year of High School

Disclaimer: I don't the rights to the manga or anime Inuyasha nor the characters.

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I have to be the most unusual woman in the world. Only I could have a secret admirer for eight years. Yes, you heard that right. Eight years of my life wondering who is the mysterious guy leaving me gifts every White Day. I have never given a guy a gift for Valentine's Day, but every year there's a White Day gift for me.

I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Rin Yoshida, and I'm only 22 years old. Actually, in a month I'll be 23, but I don't suppose I need to get that technical for you. In my short 22, almost 23 years, I have lived through too many things. When I was only eight years old my parents and 2 older brothers were all killed in a home invasion, and the only reason I was spared was due to the fact that I was staying overnight at a friend's slumber party. From there I was sent to live with an aunt who didn't pay much attention to me.

The State thought I was so intelligent they actually paid for me to go to school. It didn't really seem to matter much to them that I was left mute after the tragedy, but they kept insisting that some day I might be advisor to the Lord of the Western Lands. The Lord of the Western Lands they are talking about still hasn't taken his seat because his father occupies it. The future of the Western Lands happened to go to high school and college with me. And I have to admit that somehow they were all right because I actually do work for him now as one of his personal advisors in what he does to help his father,.

The funny thing about all of this is that Sesshomaru hates humans, of which I am one, but he has a human as one of his greatest personal advisers. He wasn't too receptive of it at first, but I'm guessing that I've either grown on him or he's faking it well for the sake of his father. Trust me, he's no picnic to work with either considering his sour attitude, but then again I do owe him my life because he saved me once before. I'll explain that whole story later.

What was I talking about earlier?...Oh, right. I was talking about my White Day Secret Admirer. The first time I ever received a white day gift was on the White Day of my first year of high school, which is 10th grade for those of you who don't know. I was still only 15 years old, and I was still mute. Because I was mute I was often ignored by the rest of my classmates. It also didn't help that I was one of only a few humans in the class.

But there it was when I walked into the classroom early that morning. Laying on my desk was a simple white flower. It appeared to be fresh picked, and the scent was heavenly. Looking around the room I found myself alone, and given the lack of a note attached to the gift I figured that whoever left it for me didn't want me to know who he was.

That didn't mean that I didn't try to figure it out. When you're mute it's difficult to ask around, but I kept an eye out for any gifts left for the other girls and who left them. By the end of the day I figured out that there were only a few guys in my class who didn't leave any gifts. Sesshomaru was one, and the other two guys were complete perverts who wouldn't have the time of day for me much less take the time to figure out that I adored flowers. No, they were the type of guys who went around trying to find ways of taking slutty pictures of the larger racked girls, of which I didn't have at the time. As you can tell I've filled out since high school.

So I did wonder for a couple of days if it could be Sesshomaru who left the flower for me. He was horribly quiet, so it was hard to tell if he could have done something like that. It didn't take me long to figure out that he was completely not my secret admirer because a week after I received my gift I overheard some guys talking to him about how they had noticed me always admiring this flower that was now pressed into one of my notebooks. The words that came out of his mouth will stick to me for the rest of my life, "Who would desire a pathetic human like Yashida?" From that day on I was determined to hate Sesshomaru for the rest of my life, but we obviously know how that turned out if I'm working for the guy now. But remember, I did mention that he once saved my life.


	2. 2nd Year of High School

Warning: There is swearing in this chapter, but it's nothing worse than in a PG-13 movie.

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Between the White Day of my 10th year of school and my 11th year of school showed quite a change in my situation. I actually made a friend towards the end of 10th grade. That was when I met Sango, who, as you know, is still my best friend. When her father and brother were killed in that tragic accident she came to find herself living at the same orphanage as me. Given that we were the two eldest girls and strangely enough attending the same school we became fast friends. And it also helped that she knew some sign language. It turns out that she was just in another class and was also so shy that she didn't even know anyone outside of her class like I didn't know anyone outside of my class.

That same year I met Miroku. Turns out he was in class with her and had been flirting with her since day one, which was funny because she didn't know he was flirting with her. She just thought he was being his perverted self when he kept trying to grope her rear end. After observing him for awhile I figured out a few of things about him. 1) He never asked her to bear his children, so Sango thought he wasn't interested in her in that way. 2) He mostly now flirted with other women when she was around to make her jealous. 3) She was the only woman he groped because that was his strange way of showing her that he only wanted her.

Of course Miroku had serious problems trying to show a classy woman like Sango his feelings since he thought in more perverted terms while she thought more in terms of what was proper. Nevertheless, they did eventually fall in love and get married, but back then she was just trying to ditch him even when he came to the orphanage to see her and make sure she was settling in okay.

A new school year started, and I found I had class with most of the same people. Turns out that I would have class with them for most of high school because we would all end up working together. College was another story, but I'll get to that when I get to that. Sango and Miroku were transferred into my class this time, and we lost a couple of the perverts and the snooty girls making this a pretty decent class. Of course my anger at Sesshomaru hadn't subsided after his comment in the spring.

Everything changed the last day of midterms. I hadn't been sleeping well because I found myself getting overly stressed about my midterms, and I think I was probably studying too hard. It didn't help that the orphanage was falling on some hard times, or at least that was the crap they fed us when they cut down our food portions and yet the owner's daughter was now driving a brand new, expensive sports car.

After midterms Sango and I head home. We always took the subway to get home since it was faster, and Miroku would stay with us until a couple of stops before when he would need to get off to go home. As we waited for the train I couldn't ignore the dizzy feelings I had been having all day. All I wanted to do was go home and get some well needed sleep. But fate had a different plan for me.

As the train was approaching the dizziness overwhelmed me and I blacked out. Sango told me later that I apparently pitched forward towards the tracks and the oncoming train. She said that she and Miroku tried to grab a hold of me but I was falling too fast for them to react. Sango also said that in the blink of an eye I was falling towards the train and then suddenly in Sesshomaru's arms safely on the platform.

When I woke up I was on the train lying down on a bench with my head in Sango's lap. Miroku was staring at me from the other side of Sango, and strangely enough Sesshomaru was towering over all of us from where he stood nearby watching ever so slightly but pretending not to. He didn't say a word for the whole trip, but he did carry me back to the orphanage and leave me there with them.

That night the inspector showed up suddenly and took a look around. I overheard him say that Sesshomaru had reported the owners in after seeing the condition of the building and some of its residents, and apparently it was enough to get the place taken over by the State. After that night we had better care takers and we ate normally portioned meals.

I desperately wanted to thank Sesshomaru for his help, so I baked him some cookies because I had often heard that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I wasn't trying to hit on him, but I figured that he might appreciate the gesture. Instead what I got was his dry comment of, "I don't eat human food." I had started to write something down, but he stood up getting my attention. "And I don't appreciate the idea that a human like you will some day work for me. If you want to secure your future the least you could do is learn to talk since you can't fix being human." With that he walked away from me.

To say that I was angry at him is an understatement. I was livid that I vowed at that moment that I would start talking again just to show him. So for days I practiced attempting to get my voice to come out in a non-croaky way. Sango thought I was crazy for letting him get to me, and she even suggested that he did it on purpose to motivate me to talk so that he didn't have to learn sign language. Whether he won or not, I got my moment to shine when I walked into class that next Monday.

I let him have it lecturing him up and down about his behavior and selfishness. I told him that if he hated me so much he didn't have to save my life and that I wished he didn't because that just made him look like less of an ass to the media than he really was. And then I had the gall to tell him that I wouldn't work for him because he's too spoiled and selfish. Did I mention that I did this in front of most of our class?

His reaction was not what I expected. I thought he might physically harm me like he did with most of the guys who challenged him, but he didn't lay a hand on me. Instead all he told me was that if I ever talked to him like that again he would make sure I would never work for anyone and that my orphanage would be returned back to its original owner. The sternness in his voice told me he wasn't joking, but I still felt like I won that argument because he at least heard me and didn't kill me for it.

Of course after that he didn't talked to me for the rest of the school year and even into part of our 12th grade school year. So when White Day came around again and I got another gift I knew without a doubt that it couldn't be him.

For White Day that year I got 2 white flowers and a white ribbon. The ribbon was made of satin and felt so soft against my skin. Once again there wasn't another note, so to show my appreciation I wore my hair up in a ponytail with the ribbon tied around it, even when I wasn't wearing white. Yet I never did get one extra glance from any of the boys in my class when I wore it. Whoever he was, he was not going to show any signs of notice because he obviously didn't want to be discovered.


	3. 3rd Year of High School

At the start of my 12th year of school a boy from another class took notice of me. Now that I look back at it, he probably had noticed me before but didn't give me the time of day because I was mute. And it could be that he was more impressed with my gall to stand up to Sesshomaru than he was impressed with me as a person. Nevertheless, I had a boyfriend and that was an exciting thing back then. His name was Naraku, and he was a half-demon. A half spider demon to be exact.

Sango never liked him. She told me that he gave off a bad aura, but being naïve at the time I just told her that she thought Miroku was cute and he certainly wasn't an angel. We really didn't do much together, and we rarely ever were alone which was completely fine with me. Strangely, he wasn't the one who gave me my first kiss, but I guess I didn't think much about it back then.

What I didn't know about him was that he was highly jealous. I found out about his jealousy on the next White Day. This year I received 3 white flowers, another white ribbon, and a vase for the flowers. Are you starting to see the pattern in the gifts. If not, I'll explain it for you. Every year I get as many flowers as he's been doing this, I get the past year's gift again, and I get a new gift. And this continues to happen even now as I stare at my White Day gift for the 8th straight year.

Anyway, it's all sitting on my desk when we got into the classroom. Naraku took one look at those gifts and started screaming, "Are you cheating on me, bitch?" I tried to explain to him that some guy has left me a gift every year for the past three years without letting me know who it is, but Naraku was so completely pissed off he wouldn't listen to me. The next thing I know he's grabbed my arm and is dragging me outside while everyone just watches me and whispers. And all I could think was, 'Why aren't they helping me?'

Once outside he slapped me across the face so hard that I was afraid that he had broken my jaw. Half-demons are stronger than humans and he's also a male, so it was completely possible for him to break my jaw or even kill me if he tried. The tears welled up into my eyes, which only seemed to enrage him more. He called me the most unhealthy string of names while ranting about how unfaithful I was to him.

I couldn't see anything me because my eyes were so blurred with tears, but I was able to see Sesshomaru grab Naraku by the throat and hold him over his head so that Naraku's feet were no longer touching the ground. "Do you dare strike a woman?" he asked Naraku harshly. Naraku just chuckled at him, so in his anger Sesshomaru threw Naraku across the school yard and into the dumpster. That didn't stop Naraku though because soon enough they were involved in a fight. I had to duck out of the way to keep from being torn apart by their demon abilities, especially Sesshomaru's light whip that extended from his index finger.

And while all this was going on the school administrators stood with the security guards watching the whole scene. I found out later that they didn't interfere because this was a great opportunity for Sesshomaru to demonstrate his strength since he would one day need to prove himself worth of being the Lord of the Western Lands. They could have at least helped me as soon as they saw Naraku hit me instead of waiting for Sesshomaru to decide to take care of the situation.

By the end of the fight Naraku was so badly hurt he had to be rushed to the emergency room. From where I was ducked behind the building I saw Sesshomaru's gaze fix on me, and then he walked towards me until he came face to face with me. For the first time in over a year he said something to me, and what he had to say royally sucked. "You human women are so foolish that you would date a pathetic half-breed who treats you horribly in order to feel in love."

Well I wasn't about to take what he said lightly so I fired back, "He wasn't a jerk until now."

"You obviously didn't know him well then."

"I'm sorry, but not everyone holds their biases out on their sleeves like you do." He just stared at me as if that would make me fall over dead or something. "I don't want your help ever again," I finally snapped. "If all you're going to do is turn around and insult me then you shouldn't even bother. Someone would have helped me eventually, so you just wasted your time and mine." We were drawing quite a crowd, but I suspect most of them were waiting for another physical fight.

His reply was, "What have I told you about talking to me disrespectfully?"

"I don't care. Go ahead, keep me from getting a job. I should just leave the country anyway." I turned on heel and headed towards the front gates of the school fully intending on going home.

He stopped me though. Sesshomaru grabbed onto my wrist and pulled me back towards him. He got up in my face and said something to me. The strangest thing is that I heard his words but I didn't comprehend them. My attentions seemed diverted to him, and more specifically how good it felt to be pressed up against him and what it would be like if I leaned in just a little to kiss him.

I'm sure it was my thumping heart or the blush on my cheeks that caused him to drop me suddenly. He left not saying a word, and eventually after the whole crowd had disappeared I went to the nurse. We avoided each other for the rest of the school year. And for the rest of the school year I couldn't figure out why I had suddenly been so attracted to him.


	4. 1st Year of College

I loved my college years. Sango and Miroku both went to school with me at the local university. The both of them had also made friends the last few months of our high school years with a couple who happened to be a couple of years younger than us, so we didn't get to spend a lot of time with them while we were in college until my last year of college. Their names were Kagome and Inuyasha.

Strangely enough, Inuyasha is Sesshomaru's younger half-brother, which may explain why the only things they have in common being their looks and their tempers. Otherwise Inuyasha seems like an okay guy. And Kagome had plenty of good moments and bad moments herself. Turns out she was extremely jealous of her twin sister, Kikyo, because she and Inuyasha never quite ended their relationship fully before he had started dating Kagome. That was Kagome's fault for rushing him into the relationship, so I felt bad for him when she got jealous.

The most exciting thing about college was finally getting out of the orphanage and living on my own. Okay, so living in a dorm is not exactly like living alone since you have a roommate and there are like 49 other people living on your floor. Thankfully for me Sango was my roommate, so at least there was one sane person on my floor every year. Most of the time the other girls were boy-crazy, and many of them flunked out after the first year because they didn't take college seriously. Those who did flunk out tended to be the girls going for their Mrs. Degree.

College is of course not all fun. I found myself being requested to get my degree in economics since I seemed to understand finance and stuff like that better than the rest of the guys who were to also become Sesshomaru's advisors. Yes, you heard that right, guys. I was the only female of the group, and to make it even worse I was the only human of the group. I sort of wonder if they didn't throw me in to look somewhat fair and balanced, but I'm not going to complain because I like my job now.

The rest of the guy went into different majors such as military history and strategies, public administration, accounting, pre-med, computer science, and engineering. This is bound to be an interesting assortment of people.

And I got to meet the guy I will be replacing some day. Thankfully for me he's a nice older demon who doesn't hold grudges against humans. Matter of fact, none of Lord InuTashio's advisors dislike humans because apparently when he took Izayoi as his wife he fired those who disagreed with his decision. When I'm not in class or studying I'm observing my predecessor. This unfortunately means that I have to spend time at the palace, but outside of meetings I never have the chance to see Sesshomaru, who seems to be avoiding me at all cost.

It was during my first year that I also met Lord InuTashio for the first time. He had actually requested once to meet privately. During our meeting we had quite an interesting conversation. He had sat down behind his desk and leaned back in his chair before saying to me, "I have heard a great deal about you from my son."

"I'm sure he's mentioned about how much he dislikes me for a number of reasons," I said glumly.

"Well, he does tend to have a bias for demons ever since I took a human as a wife. He still blames me to this day for his mother's leaving, but in fact she left me before I took Izayoi into my bed." I just nodded not really caring too much to hear his half of the story. What was done was done and nothing can change that now. "But he actually had good things to say about you last time he mentioned you."

"Huh?" I asked in a rather undignified manner because that was the last thing I would have expected to hear from him.

"Well, he did tell me that you were dating a rather unsavory character, but he also told me that you stood up for yourself again even after he warned you once before about doing so. He believes that you will work out well in your future position because you are not afraid to stand up to him and express your opinion."

"He said that?"

"You seem rather surprised," Lord InuTashio then commented.

"Well, with the way he's been acting around me I would think that he detests me as a result of my standing up to him." He then launched into some explanation about how Sesshomaru seems to be more preoccupied lately with his new job responsibilities.

I wondered for a long time if that could be the truth or if Lord InuTashio was perhaps covering up the fact that Sesshomaru really does detest me but has to work with me because his father is forcing him to. I also wondered if Lord InuTashio made up the story about Sesshomaru's comments about me.

But before I launch into my explanation about my 2nd year of college I should probably explain about my White Day gift that year. Whoever it was left it with the front desk of my dorm, but the front desk person didn't know who it was that brought the gift by. There was another vase with 4 flowers this time, and there was also a box that came along with it. Inside the box was a white ribbon and a small box of white chocolates.

I do like white chocolates, but sometimes it just gets to be too rich for me. So since I didn't want to eat the whole box and Sango kept trying to resist them in pursuit of keeping her slim figure, I shared them with the guy studying accounting, Fumio, who I had some classes in common with. He actually ate most of the box for me per my urging, but he felt bad doing it despite my explanations of how I preferred dark chocolate. And I think that's how we bonded because after that we became good friends.

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Note: In some countries it only takes a few years to get through college because they don't require their students to take general education classes like they do in the USA, so I'm only going to make Rin go through 3 years of college.


	5. 2nd Year of College

Then my 2nd year of college started. It seemed like nearly every weekend we would hang out one night at the palace with Inuyasha and Kagome. Sesshomaru always steered clear of us since we tended to hang out informally while the rest of the talking heads would pretend to like each other in order to make whatever deals they needed in their best interest. The funny thing is, some day I will supposedly be one of those talking heads. Well, that's what every else is telling me, but I still don't believe I can be so easily influenced to the dark side.

But it was interesting that we started hanging out with Kagome more. She took that as a sign that they wanted her to help them "matchmake". I'm sorry, but when I normally think of matchmaking I normally picture getting 2 people who either don't know each other to date or getting 2 people who would have never considered dating each other to date. I don't call trying to convince Miroku to finally be a man and ask out Sango as matchmaking. It was obvious to everyone that they were interested in each other already, and if Miroku had just stopped denying her feelings then this would have happened so much sooner.

And then after they started dating Kagome turned her attentions on to me. She had it in her mind that she was going to get Yumio and I together. Yumio had actually started becoming a good friend since the chocolate incident. Actually, all of the guys knew about the box of chocolates that I shared with him and had assumed that I was hitting on him by sharing the box only with him. It was just a simple gesture, and if he didn't like them I would have given them to someone else except for Sesshomaru since he's a dog demon and he certainly doesn't deserve them anyway.

But as for Yumio, he was actually a really nice guy. He had fallen into a bad crowd in high school, meaning that he had fallen into the popular clique. He even went so far as to date one of the most beautiful and popular girls in the school because it was expected of him and not because he liked her. Now that we were in college he felt like he could be a little more like himself. And the real Yumio liked to hang out with humans just as much as demons. He was actually very shy and reserved, which made him more likable by humans since demons are most often very boisterous. He was so reserved in fact that his favorite things to do were read and play computer games, things that don't usually require much interaction with other people. Sango stated that it was probably likely that he was suited for accounting then because accountants tend to understand numbers better than social interactions.

We sometimes did spend time alone, usually studying for classes we had together. Sometimes though we would just go out and do something fun that wouldn't be interesting to the rest of the guys like play miniature golf or do a LAN party. By far our favorite thing to do was just sit and watch movies. We watched all kinds of movies, especially artistic films or remakes of books. When it came to moves that were remakes of books he would sit there and explain to me what was left out of the movie that was in the book, but I didn't really mind too much.

I guess that's why Kagome thought that we were suited for each other. Don't get me wrong, Yumio is a great friend and I guess he's good looking, but there's just no chemistry between us. As you can tell, I'm not really even all that attracted to him sexually. What pissed me off about Kagome's meddling was that she had never even seen him but had heard about him from Sango, so she shouldn't have even suggested it back then because she had no idea how he reacted to me.

To make matters worse, Kagome tried to get Sango in on our matchmaking. You can imagine how horrified I was when Sango once asked him while I was out of the room if he liked me. She had no idea that I was just in the hallway, but I'm sure he did. Of course he managed to somehow worm his way out of answering the question, and I heard Miroku later tell her that men don't like it when women push them into a relationship with their friend. Of course I find that rather funny to hear considering that Miroku had to be pushed by Kagome into finally asking Sango out on a date.

But I'm getting a little closer to figuring out who my Secret Admirer is. This year only a week before White Day I heard one of the guys ask me if I was planning on giving my chocolates all to Yumio since I didn't have the guts to give him a box during Valentine's Day. I told him in front of everyone that if it's a box of dark chocolates no one will be able to rip the box out of my hands. Then on White Day I got a box of dark chocolates instead of white chocolates. He's obviously someone I'm working with, which makes me slightly nervous because I don't like most of the guys since they tend to be just as arrogant as Sesshomaru. Yumio is the best of the group, and as I said I just don't have chemistry with him.

Oh, for my other gifts that year, there were 5 flowers, a vase, a white ribbon, and a large candle in a jar that smells like wildflowers. He's getting really good at buying me gifts, but that doesn't automatically mean that I'm going to end up with him. Actually, the longer this goes on the more turned off I am that he hasn't told me who he is yet.


	6. 3rd Year of College

Everything changed when Kagome and Inuyasha started college my last year of college. There I go exaggerating again. Alright, so not everything but a lot of things. Now that Kagome could finally talk to Fumio she was starting to put pressure on him to ask me out. The funny thing is that he just ignores her and talks to Inuyasha instead, and Inuyasha seems to understand because he will continue talking despite Kagome's chiding him. That makes me feel relieved right now because he obviously only has friendship feelings towards me also.

Did I mention that Kagome and Inuyasha got married right before they started college? Yeah, Kikyo was trying to get Inuyasha back, so to assure Kagome that he wanted her and not Kikyo they ran off and got married. It was quite the scandal since nothing Inuyasha ever does gets by the paparazzi. Before they even got home to tell their parents it was all over every form of media you could think of and then some. I laughed so hard when I heard it because I was at the palace at the time and the smirk on Sesshomaru's face was actually quite classic. It wasn't a secret that the brothers didn't get along, and this was Sesshomaru's moment to shine in comparison to the prized son.

So now that they were married, Kagome moved into the palace meaning that we never hung out at her family's shrine anymore. I felt like I was spending nearly all my time at the palace now, but I guess that's going to be expected because soon I'll be working here. Things between our work group were now starting to really form. Not only were we taking classes and following our predecessors, Sesshomaru had now demanded that we meet together for an hour every week as a group separately instead of just 15 minutes before the other advisors' meetings.

After one such meeting he asked me to stay later. Fumio offered to stay behind and wait for me in case Sesshomaru got unruly, but I asked him to instead go on without me. When everyone had cleared out I took my seat again and looked at him as he stared out the window completely motionless. The way he was behaving made me think of a parent who was unhappy with their teenager and was searching for just the right thing to say when they lectured their child.

When he finally spoke he said, "Yoshia, I think it's about time we learn to respect each other. If you are to be working underneath of me it would be difficult for me to accomplish things if you are just going to disrespect me."

"Have I disrespected you lately?" I challenged him.

I could see him turn his head just slightly to look at me out of the corner of his eyes before he turned back to the window. "You have not yet, but I understand that human women are often lead by their emotions."

"Look, we may be more apt to understanding emotions, but that doesn't mean we can't be professional." I know I sounded horribly bitter, but he was straddling that fine line between insult and not.

"But I believe it would be easier for you if you and I could respect each other."

"It would be easier for me to respect you if you weren't always putting me down for being a human. Obviously I can't be all that bad even for a human if you are employing me."

"It wasn't my choice at first, but you seem to be proving your worth. On that I can say I have respect for you. If I don't insult your race can we work civilly together even alone?"

"I don't see why not," I answered him honestly. He was never going to change his opinions on humans, that much I knew, but at least he was learning to have respect for me as a person.

"Then we have an agreement," he said with finality.

From that day forth we got along just fine. Never once he did again mention anything horrible about humans, and I never had any reason to stand up to him. Matter of fact, I think he even listened to me when we socialized before a meeting started. And somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn't help but wonder why it was that he suddenly had taken an interest in me.

But it was my new gift that White Day that made me really wonder if Sesshomaru could be my secret admirer. Yumio, Sesshomaru, and I were the last three left in the room. I was packing up my things into my book bag. "You should seriously consider getting a briefcase," Yumio suggested. "You can't keep using that book bag because it's just not professional."

I remember seeing out of the corner of my eye Sesshomaru look up from the paperwork he had been concentrating on to look at Yumio and I for a brief second. And then my newest gift that year was a brand new leather briefcase. It was made of fine black leather. I was almost afraid to use it considering the amount of money he spent on it, but Sango told me that if I don't use it then I will probably send him the signal that I don't like the gift and he'll never reveal himself to me. I carried that thing around for a year before another one was given to me in the next White Day gift package.

Oh, and the candle that year smelled like fresh cut roses.


	7. 1st Year Working

Another year, another gift, and still no clear signs of who it could be that is giving me the White Day gifts. To make matters worse, this year's new gift was clearly not meant to give me any clues as to his identity. It's pretty. It's a journal with a beautiful flower pattern on it, but I never asked for one or even hinted at even using a journal. What the heck? Why can't he just come out and say he likes me?

And if that's not complicated enough, it seems that fate wants to throw me together with Sesshomaru. I finally graduated from college and have started working for Sesshomaru. One particular day in the middle of winter while I was here at the palace while there was an ice storm outside. I shouldn't have been at work that day like the rest of my fellow advisors, but Sesshomaru had insisted that I help my predecessor with getting some financial projections out. The economy is kind of in an influx right now, and it seems that Lord InuTashio is quite worried. He's obviously not a financial person because the markets always go in patterns like this.

But anyway, I was at the palace all day while an ice storm raged on. By the time we finished the storm was still raging, and the buses had stopped running because the roads were too slick. Thankfully I had brought some clothes with me because I had this feeling I would be stuck there overnight. I was given a guest room for the night and then left on my own. Of course I was here so much that it seemed like I almost lived here.

For some reason I just couldn't sleep that night. I didn't have anything on my mind, but it seemed like I just couldn't get tired enough to fall asleep. At 1 o'clock I finally gave up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and maybe find something to snack on. As I rummaged through the cabinets I heard someone else enter the kitchen. Turning my head I saw Sesshomaru standing there in only a pair of sweat pants. Oh my gosh, he has such rock hard abs! I think I was literally drooling there staring at him. What didn't help was remembering how I had been pressed up against those rock hard abs when he held me close to him.

Of course he was looking me over also. I'm sure I looked strange standing there in my penguin pajamas. Yes, my pajamas have cutely drawn penguins on them because penguins are awesome! Anyway, when we both realized we were staring at each other I blushed and turned away from him. Finding a box of crackers I grabbed them and sat down at the small table there in the kitchen. I was hoping that he would leave me be, but much to my dismay he sat down with a glass of milk in his hand. The silence between us was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Finally I broke the silence since I dread silence so much. "Do you think that the storm is over?"

"It's finished, but the roads will be too hard to travel on until mid-day tomorrow." I groaned softly, but his better hearing of course caught it. "I would have thought you would be happy being here with your friends."

"Well, yeah, I don't mind being around Inuyasha and Kagome too much, but I'm friends with them more because Sango and Miroku are. Kagome's a little too nosy for me."

"What could she possibly be doing to bother the most patient Rin?" he asked half mocking me.

"She thinks I should go out with Fumio. Don't get me wrong, he'll be a great husband to some woman some day, but there's no chemistry between us."

"How does he feel about it?"

"He hates listening to Kagome also. I think he and Inuyasha have become friends because Inuyasha and he suddenly start talking about everything and anything to avoid Kagome."

"He would be a better choice than Naraku."

I remembered looking down at my shirt and picking off a fuzzy while mumbling in agreement. I then was brave enough to bring up his love life, but he informed me that he didn't have one because picking one woman in the entire country could create all too many controversies. It was strange, but that night we actually sounded like friends instead of enemies. And the strangest thing is that Sesshomaru actually opened up to me. Why me of all people? I haven't figured it out except to think that perhaps he is my secret admirer.

And even more strangely, when we do find ourselves alone we continue to talk casually like I would talk to Fumio. Speaking of Fumio, it was Sesshomaru who mentioned to me that he overheard Fumio stay that he was attracted to me but refrained from asking me out because he thought I would only say 'yes' due to Kagome's pressuring. So after White Day this year when I heard that I finally approached Fumio.

We had been hanging out at his house again watching a movie. I wanted to bring it up in such a way as to not embarrass him, but I was never very good at that. He didn't seem to be commenting much on the movie so I assumed he wasn't that interested in it. Casually I said, "I heard a rumor about you at the palace today."

He lifted an eyebrow and then lowered it. He didn't fool me with his casual tone when he nonchalantly said, "Oh?" I knew he was dying to hear what it was.

"I guess someone thinks that you are interested in me." I could see his frame stiffen in nervousness. "If it wasn't for Kagome's meddling, do you think you would have ever asked me on a date?" I asked trying to sound absolutely curious in a good way.

"Rin," he drawled out slowly while trying to search for the right thing to say to me. "I never wanted you to hear about that."

"Why not?" I asked defensively.

"Because I know you don't feel that way about me. I'm not your secret admirer, so there's no way you would consider dating me."

"It's not because you aren't my secret admirer. Honestly, whoever he is he's obviously not worth it because gifts are just one of the 5 ways of showing love and he's never come close to the other 4. Honestly, I think he's a chicken who needs to stop it." That was the honest truth; however, I have no idea why I said the next thing. "And maybe if you had asked me I would have said 'yes'."

Oh crap, I had just opened a new can of worms. He asked me, and at that point I had to say 'yes' despite my heart telling me 'no'. So for a year we went out, but I don't think I ever came close to falling in love with him. It felt strange even kissing him, and after awhile I dreaded being close to him. But the last thing I wanted to do was break his heart and lose him as a friend.

And the last thing I expected was to develop feelings for someone else.


	8. The Last White Day Gift

"So now we've come to the past year. And that's why I've come to you for help, Doctor Kai," Rin said to her psychiatrist.

Dr. Kai looks over the rim of her glasses and asks Rin, "What happened in the last year? You were dating Fumio, but I assume that you are not now."

"No, we broke up a month ago. During the past year I have actually come to spend a lot of time with Sesshomaru. It was strange. I would stay to hang out with my friends and then Sesshomaru would come by and I would somehow end up talking to him alone. Kagome was the first one to notice the attention that I was showing him and was the first one to point out that I might be developing feelings for him."

"And do you have feelings for him?"

"That's the thing, I do feel more attraction towards Sesshomaru than I do for Fumio. They are both very much good friends at equal levels, but there is just something more exciting about being with Sesshomaru. Maybe it's because he only shares things with me that he doesn't share with anyone else, or maybe it's the way I wish he would just lean over and kiss me."

"Did Fumio figure out that you were more interested in Sesshomaru?"

"Yeah. It took him awhile to get over the White Day Secret Admirer, except that I really didn't give up on him entirely. I still held onto the hope that it could be Sesshomaru. I thought that maybe after all that time it could be him but he couldn't come out and say it because that wouldn't look good considering his reputation for disliking humans."

"Do you know who your secret admirer is yet?"

"No, but I'll find out tomorrow. In today's gift package there was a note from him to meet him after work at a restaurant so he can reveal who he is and then give me my new gift for this year."

"Maybe we should get back to Fumio."

"Oh, Fumio,...he took awhile to get past the secret admirer and then he seemed to think we were really progressing. And then he proposed to me...a few months ago."

"Tell me about that day."

"I came over to his place like always. He had dinner ready and waiting for us, which he had spent some time making. When I asked what the occasion was he just told me to wait. I knew something was up because he kept talking about our future again. He wants the usual future with the 2 kids and a dog in a small house in the suburbs. I always just sat there and listened to him without saying anything either way. Then he got down on one knee suddenly and told me that he couldn't imagine having that life without me and asked me if I would marry him."

"And what did you say to him?"

"I told him that I liked him a great deal, but I didn't think I was ready to settle down with him."

"And how did he reply?"

"He got upset. At first he accused me of being in love with my secret admirer, but I assured him that I didn't care about the guy and that it was someone else that I might be falling in love with. And the scary thing is that he had started noticing it also. I can remember that part of the conversation exactly...

--

He said to me, "It's Sesshomaru, isn't it? I've noticed how close you're getting to him. You leave me alone with your friends and go off with him to his office or somewhere else in the palace and spend time with him. You've probably been having an affair with him."

I stood up and threw my napkin on my plate and shouted back at him, "Don't you ever accuse me or him of something so underhanded. I was dating you, and despite my growing feelings for him, I never considered cheating on you."

He paced the length of his living room back and forth while I just stared at him waiting to see what else he would say. Finally after a couple of minutes he said to me angrily, "You do know that he hates humans."

"I'm well aware of that after all of these years," I informed him stubbornly.

"So you know he will never feel the same way about you." I nodded my head in agreement. "Then why they hell are you allowing yourself to feel this way about him when I'm standing here opening loving you?"

"I don't know," I said as the tears started welling up in my eyes. It wasn't anything I didn't know, but sometimes to hear things pointed out that you already know from someone else just seems to make it hurt even more. "I know that I could lose my job over this and have to leave the country in order to work again, and I know that this means that I could spend the rest of my life alone. But the thing is, I can't tell my heart who to love. You're a great guy, and I can't understand why I can't love you. Please believe me when I say this."

He stopped his pacing and stared at me with the coldest eyes as he said, "Rin, at this point I don't know if I can trust anything come out of your mouth. If you knew you didn't love me, then why didn't you say something much sooner instead of leaving me hanging?"

"Because I never wanted to go out with you in the first place since I knew from the beginning that I never loved you, but I didn't want to hurt you or lose you as a friend. Hell, I don't even know why I agreed in the first place."

His eyes had started to change to a red color, which made me fear greatly that he might hurt me. Thankfully he didn't lay a hand on me but instead commanded me to leave immediately...

--

"How did you react the next time you saw each other?"

"We saw each other at the next meeting, but Fumio suddenly quit. I had actually pulled Sesshomaru aside before the meeting and had told him that Fumio and I had a fight and he hated me as a result. Sesshomaru just listened to me and didn't say a word. So when Fumio turned in his resignation it was not much of a surprise to Sesshomaru as it was to the rest of the men in the room. Sesshomaru accepted Fumio's resignation without question and told Fumio to pack up his things from his office and be out of the palace within 30 minutes."

"So what has happened between you and Sesshomaru since then? Did Fumio say anything to him?"

"I'm pretty sure that Sesshomaru doesn't know because he's never said anything. Hell, he only asked me once about the break up and if I was fine with it. I told him I was, and it was just that there was a confusion about our feelings for each other and he didn't take it as well since he had invested more feelings into the relationship than I had."

"Are you still talking to Sesshomaru?"

"Every day now. I actually find that I stay after every meeting in hopes that he'll even spend a few minutes with me, which he always seems to do. If he's not my secret admirer, then I don't know what I'm going to do."

Dr. Kai leans forward and consuls Rin, "I would advise you to meet with this secret admirer, and if he is not Sesshomaru, then I suggest you gently let him down. It does seem to me that even if it were Sesshomaru it seems rather cowardly of him to keep you waiting so long to find out who his identity is. Still, it is quite amazing that he has loved you for 8 years."

"I know, which is going to be one of the reasons why I'll feel horrible for telling him 'no' if he's not Sesshomaru."

"He can't expect you to immediately have feelings for him considering how long you have had to wait and because you have had relationships during that time."

"I guess you're right."

The psychiatrist's timer goes off alerting both of them to their time being finished. Dr. Kai smiles at Rin and says to her, "When are you scheduled to come in next?"

"I made an appointment for the day after tomorrow. I figure that I'll need to talk to you either way this turns out, especially if it doesn't go well."

"Very good. I look forward to hearing about it."


	9. The Secret Admirer Revealed

"It's good to see you again, Rin," Dr. Kai said cheerfully as Rin flopped down hard into the chair. In a more concerned tone she said, "I take it that things didn't turn out well last night."

"No, not in any way. First I found out about Sesshomaru's arranged marriage that's was all over the news last night."

"Did he at least tell you about it?"

"Yes...

--

After the meeting I waited to see if any of the guys would be in a hurry to leave, but it seemed that none of them were. I guess whoever it was wanted me to leave first or something like that. I'm pretty sure they were all in on it.

But anyway, as I got up to leave I could feel someone hovering over me. When I turned around there was Sesshomaru. He asked me to accompany him to his office because he needed to discuss something with me. Almost as soon as he closed the doors he said, "It seems that my father has decided that he can no longer wait for me to chose a wife, so he has chosen one for me. I am to be married to the princess of Maunten Zaisho soon without even getting the chance to meet her."

"Do you want to marry her?" I asked trying to sound like a friend instead of a heartbroken woman.

"No, but I think my father is right about me finally settling down."

"Then what is the problem?"

"I can imagine that she will need a friend when she gets here. I know you are just a human and she a demon, but I think that perhaps you could help her to get somewhat acquainted with this place. I also believe that Shuji's wife will be mostly taking her under her wings."

"I guess if that's what you want, then I can try, but I'm sure she will not like me."

"I thank you." He paused and looked at his clock. "I'm sure you need to get to your date, so I will keep you no longer."

"You know about my date?" I asked him.

"Yes, I am well aware of who this strange man is that is sending you gifts on White Day. I long ago told him he was a fool for doing it, and I have finally convinced him that he has let it go on too long. It is about time that he has finally revealed himself to you. Knowing you as I do, I am sure that you do not have feelings for him, but you should seriously consider giving him a chance since you could do much worse."

--

"So it wasn't him. How do you feel about that?"

"Heart broken beyond belief. He's marrying someone else not because he loves them, and he clearly doesn't feel the same way about me. I know I shouldn't be surprised because I've known all along that he doesn't love humans."

"So who was it that showed up to dinner that night."

"It was Mamoru, the Secretary of the Military. He's this large, hulking bear demon who just gives me the willies. But I would have never guessed...

--

When I got to the restaurant I gave them my name and they took me to a table. It was in the back of the restaurant, so I knew exactly as soon as we got there that it was him because he was sitting there all alone. For being a military man, you would think that he would be extremely brave because in addition to studying military tactics he did actually serve three summers on the front lines. Yet somehow he was too afraid to tell a simple human woman that he had feelings for her?

He gushed over me the whole night telling me about how he thought me to be the kindest person he had ever had the chance to meet and how I was kind to him even when he and his friends snubbed me for being mute.

And then he want on about his good points and why he would make a good husband some day. After that he asked me, "I know I have kept you waiting you for a long time, but in addition to some urging by our boss I have reason to believe that you could like me. Before you started dating Fumio he mentioned that he thought you were eager to be romanced by your secret admirer, and I heard rumors that the reason the two of you broke up was because you were still waiting for your secret admirer. Do I have any hopes of wooing you still?"

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open for several minutes. What do you say after something like that? Now I know that Sesshomaru wanted me to give him a chance, and now that Sesshomaru was out of the way I would have no one. Yet I had hurt Fumio, who was a good friend, because I didn't love him, so how could I go out with Mamoru when I had no feelings for him whatsoever? I mean...yes, the gifts were nice, but that's not enough. I don't even normally talk to him so we would have to first build a friendship and all. And I do have a back-up plan for this very exact situation.

So I said to him as nicely as I could, "I'm sorry, but I just can't. I'm extremely grateful for all of your gifts, and I might give some of them back to you because they deserve to go to someone much more deserving, but that's just not enough for me. I'm sorry that you were also misinformed by Fumio about my feelings for my secret admirer. If you had told me who you were back in high school or college I would have been grateful to you and probably would have dated you, but some many things have changed my heart.

"I broke Fumio's heart not because I wanted to know who my secret admirer was but because I have developed feelings for someone who unfortunately cannot return them. And it seems that my heart cannot belong to anyone else even though it unfortunately meant that I had to lose one of my greatest friends as a result. I can't in any good conscience consider leading you on when I am sure the same will happen to you. You seem like too nice of a guy to do that to, for one thing. You also deserve someone better for another thing."

I could tell I had just broken his heart. He looked so pathetic, but I knew he was trying hard to not show it. After a few minutes of silence I decided maybe it was best to leave him alone. I apologized to him again before I left...

--

"Did he say anything to you today?"

"Yes. Before the meeting he pulled me aside and asked me if I could at least tell him who it was that my heart belonged to."

"Did you tell him?"

"I begged not to ask me, but he seemed so insistent and he promised he could keep it a secret. The problem is after I told him he gave me that same lecture Fumio did about how Sesshomaru cannot love me and about how he's now engaged so there is absolutely no chance with him. And somehow I have this bad feeling that he's not going to keep it a secret since he's not a good friend like Fumio was. Thank goodness for my back-up plan."

"So what is your back-up plan?"

"I applied to work for a Fortune 500 company headquartered in America. They hired me because of my experience here and because I know how to speak American-English. All we're waiting on right now is getting me a work visa."

"You're going to leave?"

"Yes, and I'm going to have to move as quickly as possible because if Sesshomaru or Lord InuTashio find out they'll have security stop me before I can even board the plane. You see, I don't plan on resigning because I know that they won't allow it since I'm supposedly the best economist they've ever had and my replacement isn't as good as I am."

"So you plan on just leaving behind your friends as well?"

"It seems I'm going to have to. It's only a matter of time before Sesshomaru finds out. Mamoru is so jealous of him now despite their being good friends that I can't imagine him keeping it in for long."

"Why did you tell him then?"

"Well, I already told you he was very insistent, and I guess I just couldn't deny him that since I had broken his heart."

"Do you want Sesshomaru to know?"

"In some way I do, but I know I don't want it to get leaked out until I leave."

"I don't like the idea of you leaving. You can't always run from your problems..."

Rin cut her off by saying, "I would have to leave anyway. As soon as Sesshomaru found out he would fire me. I'm sure it would get out and I would be the laughing stock of the demon community. It doesn't help when all of the companies I would work for are run by demons. My choices would then be to scrounge for work for the rest of my life or move away. I'm just taking preemptive action." She grabbed her purse off of the floor and stormed out of the office not giving Dr. Kai a chance to retort.


	10. New Country, New Life

Rin walked into her hotel room and dragged the luggage cart in there with her. Slowly she unloaded five suitcases and a cosmetic bag onto the bed before taking the luggage cart downstairs. She left the hotel and went to the nearest cell phone shop and got herself a new cell phone and a good plan that included a very reasonable international call rate. She had made sure to do her research about American cell phone companies and which one would work best in the city was she was moving to since it was in a rather wooded and mountainous region.

She then drove around town checking out apartment complexes. Those she liked she filled out applications for. It would take several days for her to find out if she was approved for an apartment at any of them, so until she would have to stay in the hotel. Thankfully for her she would start work tomorrow so she be busy soon enough not to notice that she didn't have a home yet.

Before she went back to her hotel room she grabbed a quick but healthy dinner. Once inside her room she called Sango. It was actually Miroku who answered the phone. "Hello?" he said warily. She knew he thought it was probably a telemarketer.

"Miroku?" Rin asked into the phone just trying to make sure it was his voice she was hearing.

"Rin?" he asked back. She could hear some commotion in the background and then he said, "Hold on. Sango's getting the other phone."

A couple of seconds later Rin could hear a click and then Sango's voice, "Rin, where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Rin assured them. "I miss you guys though, but I guess that's to be expected since we're now an ocean apart from each other."

"An ocean apart?" Sango questioned her. "Where in the hell are you?"

"America."

"America?" both Miroku and Sango asked astonished.

"Yeah. I got a job and a work visa. I'm living in some state called Washington."

Sango then asked her, "Why in the hell did you move away? And why in the hell didn't you tell anyone? We've been worried about you for the whole day."

"I had to leave. Sesshomaru was going to find out soon and I had to get away before he could do anything to me."

Miroku informed her, "He did contact us looking for you, but he sounded worried."

"He contacted you?"

"He called me, Sango, and even Fumio looking for you," Miroku stated. "And trust me, he wasn't angry."

"He probably doesn't know yet."

"It doesn't matter," Sango protested. "You better get the hell back here because you've got everyone worried about you."

"I can't go back there even if you're all worried about me. I'm staying here, and you will have to just trust me when I say that I'm fine."

"This is stupid, Rin," Sango informed her. "I'm sure he won't hurt you for harboring feelings for him."

"He won't, but the demon community sure as hell won't let me forget about it. I'll be a social outcast for the rest of my life."

"You're over reacting. Come back here and you'll see that you were wrong."

"I'm not coming back unless he personally comes back and assures me that he won't do anything to me."

"You know that's not going to happen, so just stop acting like a baby and come home."

"No. I'm determined to make a new life for myself here. You may not understand this now, but eventually you will."

"I don't think anyone will ever understand your logic over this. What if we got Fumio to talk to you? He's worried about you."

"He's still mad at me though."

"A little," Sango admitted. "You did break his heart."

"And I've told him over and over that I'm really sorry about it."

"We all know, and so does he."

"Then can we stop talking about this?"

Finally Miroku spoke, "Well, if you are going to stay there, will you at least keep in touch with us every week?"

"Absolutely. As I said before, I really miss you guys, even Kagome and her meddling in my love life."

"I can't believe you're not coming back," Sango lamented. "Please stay safe."

"I will. Thanks for at least trying to understand this." They said their goodbyes and hung up. Rin laid down on her now cleared off bed and let a few tears fall from her eyes. She missed her friends horribly, and if she could have, she would have brought them with her. Why did her heart have to betray her? Why him of all people for her to fall in love with? Did he even care besides her professional role in his life? Probably not. He hated humans.

A month later Rin was now settled into her apartment. It only took three days to get an answer from four apartment complexes. She picked the one with just enough space that cost somewhere in the middle of all of them. Unfortunately she didn't take any of her furniture from the old one, but Sango wired the money as soon as her furniture in Japan was all sold off. Thankfully until that happened she was able to get a perfect nice set of furniture from a 2nd hand store.

Thankfully for her she was supplied a laptop from the company that they allowed her to take home every night. Nearly every day she emailed Sango and most days she would get a reply back. From what she could gather from Sango's emails, Sesshomaru had been told only a couple of days after she disappeared about her feelings for him. Strangely enough it wasn't Mamoru who told him but instead Fumio.

But ever since Sesshomaru had found out about Rin's feelings he had been trying even harder to find out where she was. Sango also made sure to mention that he was threatening her and Miroku to tell him where she had gone to since he figured that she had been in contact with the couple. Thankfully for Rin, Miroku and Sango were not going to tell him anything.

Just after she got done replying to Sango's latest email she heard someone knock on her door. When she opened up the door she found her neighbor from across the hall. He was a rather good looking guy with sandy blond hair and tan skin. He had helped her move her new furniture around her apartment since the guys from the store just put it into the apartment haphazardly. Afterward they got to talking, and it turned out that he worked for the same company but in a different department on another floor. He had also recently gotten divorced after his wife decided that she just didn't want to be married anymore. Justin had been left broken hearted, so they were perfect company for each other since she had heard only the day before that the wedding date had been set for Sesshomaru's wedding.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked her as he put on his coat.

She threw on her coat and grabbed her keys before saying, "Yep." He drove them to his favorite bar. After they ordered their food he started talking about going skiing over the weekend and he invited her to join him. Unfortunately as Rin was about to answer him she heard the TV in the corner of the room. It was tuned onto some news program, and the current story was about how the princess of Maunten Zaisho had run off and gotten married a full month before the set date.

Rin could feel her heart restrict in her chest and her breathing slow. He must have decided to marry her sooner as an insult to Rin. By doing so he was sending Rin the message that he would rather be with a demon woman than with her. "Are you okay?" Justin asked her rather concerned.

"He married her a month early," Rin spouted out now tearing her eyes away from the TV.

Justin furrowed his eyebrows for a second in thought before figuring it out. "Oh wow. I'm sorry to hear that."

Rin clutched at her beating heart hoping the physical pain would take away the emotional pain. "He did it to let me know he hates me. He knew I would see this."

"Unfortunately most men are assholes. It kind of makes you despair at our sex," he said honestly. "I think that this calls for some alcohol tonight." He went up to the bar and came back with a couple of shots of whiskey. He tossed one back and then encouraged Rin to do the same. The liquid was bitter, but it left a warm fuzzy feeling inside of her. And the more she drank of it the better she felt until all of her worries disappeared.

And drink Rin did. Nearly every weekend Justin would take her to the bar and they would get smashed together until someone would come pick them up. Rin knew better than to do that on a night before work because every time she got drunk she felt horrible the next day. But those one or two nights were worth it if it erased the pain.

Nearly a year passed and Rin had become so comfortable in Washington that she sometimes even forgot to email Sango and Kagome. It was like they had all been part of a dream of a former life instead. But all of that changed one night she she came tripping into her apartment after another night of partying. When she got home she found the light on and 2 men standing there in suits. "What do you want?" she slurred before falling forward and into the arms of one of the men.

"Are you Rin Yoshia?" the other man asked her.

"What's it to you?"

"We're with the CIA, and we're here to take you to Seattle where you will meet with the President. He has some questions for you about your position on Prince Sesshomaru's cabinet."

"I haven't told anyone any secrets, I swear. Why can't you people leave me alone?"

"I'm afraid it doesn't concern any secrets, ma'am." The one whose arms she was in picked her up and carried her out to an awaiting car. It was a two hour drive to Seattle and Rin felt horribly drunk so she slept the entire way there.


	11. I Wasn't Expecting You

When they arrived in Seattle it was well after midnight and the president had already gone to bed. They put Rin up in a hotel room for the night, where she slept until 10 AM. Thankfully for her the night before they had her take a pill that helps with dealing with hangovers. Once she had showered and dressed the same 2 gentleman from the night before took her to their headquarters there in Seattle. There she was greeted by him. "It is a honor to meet with you. I have heard a great deal about you from Lord InuTashio."

"I thank you for the kind words, but I can assure you that I have done nothing to deserve his praise."

"He states that he would like you to come back since he has found no other like you, but should you decide to stay here in the US I would like to offer you a job working for the Chairman of the Federal Reserve. It is my hope that maybe some day you could be the Chairwoman of the Federal Reserve, but I know there is little we could do to tempt you to stay."

"Tempt me to stay?" she asked rather confused. Just then she saw someone large approaching. When she looked up she saw Mamoru standing there behind the president. "Mamoru? What are you doing here?"

He smiled at Rin and said to her, "I have come to convince you to return home."

"Just you?"

Mamoru turned to the president and asked if he could have several minutes alone to talk with Rin. The president obliged and then left the room with his secret service team and the CIA agents. When they were alone Rin walked to the window and stared out of it. "Sesshomaru would have come if he hadn't been held up at home. He wants you to return and take your job back."

"But he knows about my feelings..." Rin said letting it trail off.

"He does."

"Yet he'll let me have my job back?"

"He will."

"What will his wife think about me being there?"

"His wife?" he asked her rather confused. "Have you not heard?"

"I heard on the news that they got married a month earlier than originally planned."

"No, SHE got married a month earlier. It turned out that she was in love with a human, but her father did not approve of it and forced her into an engagement with Sesshomaru. With Sesshomaru's full knowledge she ran off and married the human."

"He let her do that?"

"Yes. If you came home you would see that things have changed. I cannot tell you anymore."

Rin turned around and looked at him squarely in the eyes as she asked, "Why won't you tell me anything more?"

"I was advised not to give out too much information to you. All I can say was that after you left Sesshomaru spent a great deal of time and energy trying to track you down. I think that alone should be enough to convince you that he harbors no ill will towards you."

"If he was trying so hard, why didn't he come to get me himself?"

"If you must know, I was coming to America to talk to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, so Lord InuTashio thought it best that I just come given our history together. Lord InuTashio also wishes for you to return."

"And what if I don't?"

"After seeing your condition last night I fear that staying away any longer will continue to deteriorate your mental condition and therefore your physical condition."

"How long do I have to think about it?" she asked him.

His eyes lit up a little as he said, "I will be an hour north of here in a town called Everett for about a week's time. If you are interested in returning with me then meet me at the airport next Saturday by noon. I will have your plane ticket waiting for you." Rin nodded her head and then turned back to the window. Having said what he needed to, Mamoru had the agents drive Rin back to her apartment.

When she got back she found Justin standing outside of her apartment with the police. He ran up to her and asked, "Where have you been?"

"With the CIA," she answered so casually one would think it happens every day.

"The CIA?" he asked her rather confused. "Are you a terrorist or something?"

Rin smirked at the idea but then assured him, "No. They asked me to go back, or they said I could stay and work for the Chairman of the Federal Reserve."

"Wow," Justin said rather astounded. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Rin said honestly. At this point the police decided that since she was back they would go ahead and leave. Rin ushered Justin into her apartment and then sat down on her couch before saying, "He didn't come to get me, but I was assured that he couldn't make it."

"So what's he going to do now that he knows about your feelings?"

"I guess he's going to let me have my job back."

"That's it? He's just going to let you come back like nothing ever happened?"

"Well, Mamoru stated that he's changed some."

"Because of his new wife?"

"Actually, he didn't marry her. She ran off with some human that her father didn't want her marrying."

"So he's not married and he's asking you to come back?"

"I guess that's it in a nutshell."

"Then you ought to go."

"Why?"

"Because he obviously likes you. Think about it: he's not married, he knows you love him, and he wants you back there with him. It all leads up to the fact that he wants to be married to you."

"Really?" Rin asked rather surprised that she hadn't come to that conclusion earlier. "I guess it wouldn't hurt me then," she said with hope in her voice.

A week later she found herself standing outside of the airport in Seattle with 5 pieces of luggage and a cosmetic case at 11:59. Mamoru smiled at her and offered to help her get her bags checked in at the ticket counter. Hours later they were sitting in first class flying over the Pacific Ocean headed home.

--

Note: There is a naval base in Everett, Washington. I have a friend from high school who is stationed up there.


	12. Home Again

When they got off of the plane Rin saw Sango and Miroku waiting for her. The two females ran to each other and hugged each other. Miroku then had his chance to give her a gentle hug and grope her, which in turn landed a slap across his face from both women. As they left they told Rin that they had a room in their house set up for her to stay until she found a place of her own. They then went and picked up her luggage and with Marmoru's help packed it into the trunk of Miroku's little car.

That evening Kagome and Inuyasha came over with their newborn daughter. They spent some time catching up since Rin had become so lax in her emailing.

The next day when Rin went to work they all acted like she hadn't been gone, except for her predecessor who had to catch her up on everything she missed in the past year. Sesshomaru was gone having been sent to settle a dispute between some local leaders in another part of the country, so she was made to wait another week before she could see him again. Until then she still had to deal with Lord InuTashio, who called her into his office for a private meeting a few days after she returned.

At first it was to talk about letting her predecessor retire early due to some health concerns, but just as she thought they were finished he asked her, "Are the rumors true?"

"Rumors?" she asked him unsure of which rumors he could be talking about.

"Are you in love with Sesshomaru?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said slightly confused as to why he would ask her again.

He leaned back in his chair and his eyes drifted to some point on the wall behind her and above her head. "I never would have thought this would happen. You seem like too nice of a girl to fall for someone as adamantly against your species."

"I do realize that he doesn't care for humans, but I care more about who he is besides that."

"And what is that?"

"He doesn't say it, but I believe he fears not living up to your reputation. Did you know that?"

"I don't suppose I did."

"And there are so many other things he's told me that I'm sure no one else knows about him. He does have a good heart, but he's also got a reputation to protect."

InuTashio smiled at her and said, "I guess I have a lot to learn from you."

--

Sesshomaru returned to the palace a week after Rin met. He said not a word to her nor did he show any signs whatsoever of being glad to see her. It was if she had never left and he had never searched for her. After a couple of days she decided to confront him over it.

"What gives?" she asked him when they were finally alone.

"Excuse me?"

"What gives? You sent Mamoru to come and get me, and then when I get back here you make me feel like I should be back there. Did you or did you not want me to come back?"

"We needed your expertise," he said casually, coldly.

"Then you don't care at all about me as a person? You don't care that I was happy there?"

"You had your choice to stay or leave. What choice you made is not my fault. Perhaps you should think through things before you do them."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"You left here without any consideration to your own friends, and you left me hanging with no one suitable to replace you. And then you end in America but you hate it so much you drink yourself into oblivion."

"And how would you know about my drinking?"

"Mamoru told me that when you were brought to where he was staying at you were drunk off your ass."

"Okay, so that doesn't mean that I did that every weekend."

"On the contrary, you are the type of person to do something routinely."

"Well, I wouldn't have done so if you hadn't left me to think you ran off with that princess."

"If you had paid attention to the news story you would have known the full truth. Besides, what does it matter if I had anyway?"

"You know full well that I'm aware of your knowledge of my feelings for you. Fumio told you, but I'm told that apparently you tried even harder to find me including harassing my friends."

"I did no such thing," he said obstinately. Then in a softer tone he said, "You're a human, and you are wasting your feelings on me." He sat down in his chair and stared at her as he asked, "How can you do this to me? How can you cause me to go so weak?"

"Weak? What makes you feel like you've become weak?"

"I used to be so independent, but now I find that I don't function as well as when you're not here." He stood up again and turned his back to her again. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"How was it supposed to be?"

"You were supposed to fall in love with Mamoru. You were always intended for him."

"He may have wanted me, but that doesn't mean the feelings were mutual. I guess you could compare it to my feelings for you."

Sesshomaru turned around and looked at her. There in the depths of his eyes she could see his raw emotions laid out. "I never even thought of you as anything until that day when I saved you from Naraku."

"Is that why you suddenly needed to get away from me?" she asked as she had always assumed it to be her fault. He nodded his head just slightly. "If I hadn't run away…to America…would we be…having this conversation?"

"The longer you stayed away the harder it became to be apart from you."

Tears of happiness began to prick Rin's eyes. Sesshomaru was not the romantic type, but this was certainly the closest she was going to get to a romantic confession of love. "What do we do now?"

"Nothing," he answered coldly turning his back to her. "You're still a human."

Rin sarcastically replied, "I can't exactly change that."

"I'll be a hypocrite if I married you, and I'll be even more of a hypocrite if we have a half-demon child."

Angrily Rin asked him, "So you're just going to deny happiness for the both of us?"

"Nothing more can be done. You'll move on some day and find someone better for you."

Rin wasn't going to allow him the satisfaction of knowing that he had broken her heart, and she certainly wasn't going to run away again. She was here to stay since she still had her job, so she would just have show him right he could be. "You're right, I will find someone better because I deserve someone who will put my happiness above his own selfish desires." He watched as she bowed to him and then left his office with her head held high.


	13. The End

So the next few weeks Rin acted like everything was perfect in her life. She greeted everyone with a cheery 'hello' and laughed harder than ever at everyone's jokes. But she knew that none of it fooled Sesshomaru because he knew her well enough to know that she was fronting. But she kept at it as if it would suddenly change her sadness to joy.

Rin had shared her conversation with Kagome and Sango, so Kagome, with Izayoi's full knowledge and agreement, invited Rin to eat dinner with them every night hoping that Rin's increased presence might drive Sesshomaru to the breaking point.

After a few weeks of this routine Rin found herself sitting in the family's parlor with Lord InuTashio, Lady Izayoi, and Sesshomaru. Izyaoi was craddling her granddaughter while her parents were not in the room. After half an hour InuTashio asked, "Where are Inuyasha and Kagome?"

"They're getting some rest," Izayoi informed him. "I thought it might be nice to take Kaede for the night so they could get more sleep."

"I highly doubt their sleeping," InuTashio commented.

"I know that, but they do deserve some alone time. Colicky babies are so hard to take care of and they're both still young."

"The least they could do is visit with Rin since they invited her for dinner." Rin knew that he wouldn't send her away because he fully had expressed to her previously that he wished that Sesshomaru would change his mind about her.

Rin stood up and walked over to Izayoi and offered, "Why don't I take Kaede for a little while."

Izayoi smiled and carefully placed the baby in Rin's arms. Rin sat down again and cuddled the infant carefully so as to keep from waking her. Kaede was absolutely adorable with her father's golden eyes and doggy ears. She had her mother's facial structure and black hair.

With a featherlight touch Rin stroked the child's ears putting the child into a greater comfort level with the stranger. Sesshomaru looked up from his desk nearby and watched Rin as she held his niece. She looked like such a natural despite not having any children of her own. Shortly afterward when he turned back to his paperwork the infant started crying. "She needs to be fed," Izayoi commented. She stood up and motioned for Rin to follow her to the kitchen so they could prepare one of the bottles sitting in the refrigerator.

Rin was allowed to feed and burp Kaede before Sesshomaru ever made his presence known. Rin was about to head back to the parlor when she saw him standing there in the main doorway to the kitchen. He was staring at her intently, so she whispered to him, "Are you afraid I'm going to hurt your niece?"

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I was thinking about how beautiful you would look holding our half-demon daughter."

Rin blushed at his words. She leaned up and whispered to him, "That's not going to happen until you can openly admit you love me. I need to be married before we can have fun." She gave him a seductive smile. He leaned in and licked her ear slightly to elicit a brighter blush. "You can't convince me that easily."

"I have to marry you?"

"Yep."

"Then let's get married."

"Now?"

"No. I want you to have that fairy tale wedding you've been dreaming about."

"So are you going to ask me properly then?"

Speaking out loud now he asked, "Rin Yoshida, will you marry me?" Rin leaned up and kissed him lightly all the while trying to keep Kaede from getting smashed between them.

But their moment was quickly ruined by cheering. The couple turned their heads and saw his entire family and Mamoru standing there cheering for them. Kagome took her daughter back into her arms and commented, "Geez, we even had to use my daughter to finally get Sesshomaru to propose."

Sesshomaru turned to Rin and asked her, "Did you know about this?"

"No," Rin answered him honestly. And then in a rather uncharacteristic move Sesshomaru pulled her close and kissed her again with his whole family watching.

"So it turned out that I had two secret admirers in my lifetime," Rin explained to her teenager daughter.

"Geez, Dad was a jerk back then."

"Yeah, but people change over time."

"Do you ever regret not marrying Fumio or Mamoru?"

"Not one day in my entire life." She paused and looked at the note her daughter brought home with her from school this White Day. "I do have this strange feeling, though, that somehow I'll end up related to Mamoru."

"How?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if your White Day Secret Admirer wasn't his eldest son."

--

The End!

Thank you to all my readers, especially those of you who left comments. I hope I didn't disappoint.


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